What is control? What do we need to control? What is controlling us?
Control is managing; organizing; being in command; having power and jurisdiction. We can influence and dominate when we're in control.
Have you ever thought about why we need control? Control gives us a sense of security, a sense of direction. We know where we're going; we know what we want to do; it gives us clarity; it feels good; it stabilizes us. Control helps us to feel in control of our lives doesn't it?
Are we really in control of anything or does it give us a FALSE sense of security? Why do we fear losing control or fear too much control?
I want to suggest that I think control is an issue in our lives because it's gotten out of balance. Ask yourself honestly is control managing me or am I managing control in my life?
When we reach unbalanced levels of control in our lives, by striving for more and more control or by feeling victim to control that is self perpetuated or perpetuated by others we tend to feel overwhelmed; insecure; out of sink; depressed; stifled; stuck and other such feelings that are not stimulating positive thoughts to help us move forward.
We also tend to look for things that give us security and comfort when we feel that sense of "stuck" that can also lead to hampering our development such as over eating, turning to addictive substances such as cigarettes, coffee or worse… Our behavior can also become erratic and unbalanced.
What can we do to balance ourselves in order not to lose control of who we are and what we want to achieve?
Self awareness is the key and our starting point.
I want to suggest that you try and work your way through these four short exercises as a starting point.
1) Take out a big sheet of paper. Write the word control in the middle and within a three minute period and without thinking too much write down as many words that you associate with the word control. Read it over. It's remarkable how we become more self aware just be doing this small exercise.
2) Take out another piece of paper – fold it in half. On one side write down gains and on the other side write down losses. Make a list of what you gain from being in control and what you lose from being in control? Ask yourself what is working and what isn't working for me?
3) Then ask yourself what small change can I make starting today to create balance in the area of control in my life?
4) Ask yourself if control is managing you or you are managing it?
Good Luck!!!!!
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