יום חמישי, 26 בינואר 2012
The Secret to Dealing With Difficult People: It's About You - Tony Schwartz - Harvard Business Review
Great article. Something that happens to all of us and that we can learn alot from.
יום ראשון, 22 בינואר 2012
Emotional Intlligence Teaches Impluse Control - Topix
Emotional Intlligence Teaches Impluse Control - Topix
Really interesting article - worth a read.
יום ראשון, 15 בינואר 2012
Tips: How to find Life Balance
Balance – feels like breathing in a breath of fresh air entering your lungs, penetrating your cells and releasing positive energy outwards allowing our whole body to breath. It creates stability, calm, equilibrium, poise and lots of other adjectives that maintain our sanity and self assurance. Yet it's really easy to become unbalanced in our day to day life that tends to sometimes tip us over the scale and jeopardize our status quo.
What do we do then in order to get back on track and save ourselves from falling off the edge?
1) Mindfulness exercises such as RAIN & STOP. Mindfulness is mainly attentive awareness of the reality of things (especially of the present moment) is an antidote to delusion and is considered as such a 'power'. This faculty becomes a power in particular when it is coupled with clear comprehension of whatever is taking place. Dr. Elisha Goldstein, (Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist), writes in his blog: “Difficult Emotions: One Approach You’ll Want to Try", about R.A.I.N & STOP.
“R” is to recognize when a strong emotion is present. “A” is to allow or acknowledge that it is indeed there. “I” is to investigate and bring self-inquiry to the body, feelings, and mind, and “N” is to non-identify with what’s there. This non-identification is very useful in that it helps to deflate the story and cultivates wise understanding in the recognition that the emotion is just another passing mind state and not a definition of who you are. Utilizing R.A.I. N. as a practice can help you bring space to be with things as they are and grow in deeper understanding of what drives, underlies or fuels our fears, anger, and sadness in the search for balance.
2) S.T.O.P. Next time you find your mind is racing with a feeling of being overwhelmed STOP.
S - Stop what you are doing, put things down for a minute. T - Take a breath. Breathe normally and naturally and follow your breath coming in and of your nose. You can even say to yourself “in” as you’re breathing in and “out” as you’re breathing out if that helps with concentration. O - Observe your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. You can reflect about what is on your mind and also notice that thoughts are not facts and they are not permanent. If the thought arises that you are inadequate or overwhelmed, just notice the thought, let it be, and continue on. Notice any emotions that are there and just name them. Just naming your emotions can have a calming effect. Then notice your body. Are you standing or sitting? How is your posture? Any aches and pains. P - Proceed with something that will support you in the moment in order to get back on track.
3) For those of you who want to take time out, Meditation with Self Guided Imagery is a powerful tool that helps us alternate our reality and gain new insights and perspectives on our lives.
So next time you're feeling off course, unbalanced and overwhelmed with emotion or stress try any of these simple methods to help you see your shining light.
They work. Good Luck!
יום ראשון, 8 בינואר 2012
Fear of Losing Control; Fear of TOO much Control. Where are you?
What is control? What do we need to control? What is controlling us?
Control is managing; organizing; being in command; having power and jurisdiction. We can influence and dominate when we're in control.
Have you ever thought about why we need control? Control gives us a sense of security, a sense of direction. We know where we're going; we know what we want to do; it gives us clarity; it feels good; it stabilizes us. Control helps us to feel in control of our lives doesn't it?
Are we really in control of anything or does it give us a FALSE sense of security? Why do we fear losing control or fear too much control?
I want to suggest that I think control is an issue in our lives because it's gotten out of balance. Ask yourself honestly is control managing me or am I managing control in my life?
When we reach unbalanced levels of control in our lives, by striving for more and more control or by feeling victim to control that is self perpetuated or perpetuated by others we tend to feel overwhelmed; insecure; out of sink; depressed; stifled; stuck and other such feelings that are not stimulating positive thoughts to help us move forward.
We also tend to look for things that give us security and comfort when we feel that sense of "stuck" that can also lead to hampering our development such as over eating, turning to addictive substances such as cigarettes, coffee or worse… Our behavior can also become erratic and unbalanced.
What can we do to balance ourselves in order not to lose control of who we are and what we want to achieve?
Self awareness is the key and our starting point.
I want to suggest that you try and work your way through these four short exercises as a starting point.
1) Take out a big sheet of paper. Write the word control in the middle and within a three minute period and without thinking too much write down as many words that you associate with the word control. Read it over. It's remarkable how we become more self aware just be doing this small exercise.
2) Take out another piece of paper – fold it in half. On one side write down gains and on the other side write down losses. Make a list of what you gain from being in control and what you lose from being in control? Ask yourself what is working and what isn't working for me?
3) Then ask yourself what small change can I make starting today to create balance in the area of control in my life?
4) Ask yourself if control is managing you or you are managing it?
Good Luck!!!!!
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